Pumpkins picked fresh at the Scattergood Farm

So my dear friends,

Sorry for not writing for a while — once I got back from the yacht, I thought my life would seem dull. Normal. Uninspiring.

Hah!

The night I arrived in Milwaukee, I made a bee-line for North Star Bistro, because my dad and Eve were having supper there with some dear friends. They asked me about the boat and the people, and I told them, “I’m richer than they are. I live a much more interesting and engaged life — I’m curious about people, and life isn’t just about transactions, like what can I get away with.” With a few months of perspective, I think this is even more solidified.

I had a week to get myself back in the swing of things, and then I went back to the bank. A few weeks later, and we were off to Boston to celebrate with Jona (who is now Jon, I have to remember), for his graduation from Brandeis. Dad and Eve went with us, but unlike the Florida trip they had taken in March, this one was a killer.

We heard Yo Yo Ma play cello when he received his Doctor of Letters, and David Brooks deliver the commencement address which encouraged the graduates to find something to commit themselves to. We were able to get a wheel-chair van to take us up to the departmental graduation ceremonies, where Jon got his diploma. Bachelors Degree in History with Honors, double major in Politics and a minor in Music. Pretty cool.

We were exhausted and hungry, so after a quick stop to get some food, some of us went to Jon’s dorm and others to the hotel to rest. We met up that night at an Italian restaurant with Jon’s girlfriend, Michelle, and even though you could see how tired Dad was, he said emphatically:  ”This is the best Father’s Day present ever.”

Huh? I said, “Dad, Father’s Day isn’t for another few weeks.” He repeated himself, “This is the best Father’s Day present ever!” For him, seeing one of his grandchildren graduate from college was a ceremonial milestone. And he was so glad to be there.

By the next afternoon, he was admitted into a local hospital, suffering congestive heart failure and oh, so weak. I stayed an extra day, and Eve ended up staying another two weeks, until she was able to arrange to have him flown home in an air ambulance. He was admitted to Froedert Hospital in Milwaukee, and after four more days, he died, this sweet, sweet man, who breathed his last.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, my son Zach was doing all kinds of things that got my attention. Mostly stuff I wished he would stop doing, but you don’t always get what you want. After sitting shivah for a full week, I went back to work at the bank again. Zach’s grades were abysmal, and at 15 years old, his prospects of finding summer work were bleak. His choice of friends was disturbing, and I could tell we needed to make a big change, but what?

Enter the boarding school idea — if we can’t effectively parent him at home, then sending him to a boarding school makes total sense. He needs a re-set, to learn to study and achieve (as my own high school dropout brother said, “He’s not a stupid kid; he’s just making stupid choices.”) He also needs to be kept a lot busier than he had been, not just playing soccer, but year round activities. Fortunately, I knew just the place: Scattergood Friends School, a Quaker boarding high school in West Branch, Iowa.

My own summer travels had taken me to the site of the American Hebrew Academy, a co-ed pluralistic Jewish boarding high school, but it felt way too competitive. I liked the idea of a farm/school/community that starts each day with 15 minutes of “collection”, silence and contemplation. Could be good for anyone’s jangled nerves.

Zach was thrilled to be accepted and we brought him here one day before his 16th birthday, and two weeks since our last encounter with the local police. Yes it had been THAT kind of summer. Things were going well until one week later, when he called in excruciating pain. He thought that he had re-injured his hamstring or pulled or torn his quad. One trip to the ER didn’t get to the heart of the problem — they gave him pain meds and muscle relaxant. When he started having fever the next day, we agreed he had to go back, and this time, they tracked down the source of the pain: a dual-site abscess near his pelvic bone, where the hamstring attaches. The pain was from the abscess pushing on his sciatic nerve. My stomach twisted when I heard that — once, I had pain there, and it was horrible.

The abscesses were drained and a temporary drain was left in to help his body get rid of the infection, which turned out to be staph. I drove directly to the hospital to be with him, and stayed until Andy arrived four days later. I went back home once I could see that he was improving, but in order to let him out, we needed someone who could be responsible for hooking up his PICC line twice a day, and the school didn’t want that responsibility.

Guess who is in Iowa for five weeks? I’ll write more about the life of the school in my next post. Just wanted to catch up on my recent days in paradise!

When this adventure ends, I am heading back to Milwaukee to set in motion another grand adventure: selling our duplex. It is time for Andy and me and the boys to finally part with this home, to free ourselves to move on (physically and metaphysically). It served us well for 18 years, and we hope that some other wonderful folks will find joy and friendship within its walls. It will mean that Andy and I can finally finish getting divorced (yes, really), and move on in that realm too.

So what are the next adventure plans I have been considering? Obviously, writing a book (or two or three!) and finishing recording my next CD, a process I began last winter with the help of Jacob and Jona and Mitch Shiner. This will force me to finish some of the Bahamas-inspired songs I started!  I think that a “Food for Body, Mind  & Soul” tour is in order for the coming year, where I cook and sing and tell stories in an evening of community building that is accessible to all! I would be fine with having a tiny base in Milwaukee, and traveling from there.

And of course, there’s always the possibility that the yacht will set off on another voyage, and I will come back to teach again…

Shabbat shalom to all, and thanks for following this. There are tons of stories I didn’t post (have to keep something for the book!), but it’s been glorious to know that I can keep people up-to-date so easily.

Love to all,

Marge

Instead of ending my work on the boat in late March (in order to spend the weekend with the wild and wacky women of Topsail Island), I gave my employers the absolute deadline of April 7, because I HAD to be in Milwaukee to celebrate with my wonderful dad as he turned 80 years old yesterday. There was a service at our synagogue in his honor, and a couple of parties over the weekend, and it was vitally important to me to be there, especially after last spring and summer, when he was so sick we didn’t think he’d survive.

When the family decided to celebrate Passover on the boat, my decision to leave on April 7 became a bit more stressful! That meant almost 3 weeks for their daughter without a teacher (and remember, we’re already functioning without a nanny!). Finally, I turned to the mom and said, if you want to have me come back, I’ll just go for the weekend — travel to Milwaukee on April 7 and back again on the 11th (which is today, and I’m in the Ft. Lauderdale airport!) Pretty elegant solution for all concerned — I got what I needed, and so does the family — and we all leave on April 27 to come back to the states.

Most of the comments I got were about my skin color and general aura of happiness. I think massive amounts of natural vitamin D are actually great for me! The stories I repeated most were about my role — in an “Upstairs/Downstairs” world, I fit in both and neither, and how that feels. The next level of stories were about the values and lifestyle of being in a floating international community  – some of these will just have to wait for a book!

But mostly, I did in Milwaukee what I do everywhere: I was PRESENT. Each conversation, each hug, each connection felt precious, like a real gift that we shared.

I recognize that I live a charmed life. Unlike the rest of the crew, I get a normal day off: Shabbat. In the evening, after the challah is made, I go up and lead prayers for Kabbalat Shabbat, and then I’m free. I stayed on board until we docked to get fuel, and then, in one moment that I wish had been filmed, I stepped off the 154-foot gleaming silver and white yacht onto the shore with my backpack on, and walked out to have some fun!

I was less than a block from the Two T’s, and I headed there first. I brought a challah to share with them — and it was fun to hear their comments about “Jewish bread”. Grant (the young bartender) and his pale and fresh-faced girlfriend from Iowa  were hanging out – just taking in the scene.

I spent some time learning to play Dominos (Kalik style) with the Bahamian guys at the Two Turtles. Once I learned, they upped the ante so that the loser had to take a shot. I was smart enough to sit to the left of the best player. Eventually, a couple of kids joined our game, and then some other white women tourists – and the one to my left was really lucky and won two games in a row, which meant that I had to drink two shots of the foulest concoction of alcohol (151 rum, scotch and gin, I think!)

By mid-afternoon, I was ready to hit the beach, and Grant and Molly took me with them to Tropic of Cancer Beach – truly one of the most beautiful beaches in the world. It can’t get much better than that…all blues (water and sky) and white sand. Fantastic! And it was fun swimming out into the ocean, and just floating back. I always knew I was buoyant, but I took it to a new level! I think maybe I had 2” draft – I was almost completely out of the water. It was a spiritual experience of being at one with the water of the world. I felt like I really understood the Rasta way to do Shabbat – mostly contemplating the beauty of being on this earth!

And so, to counteract all this “unity”, I decided to take a day off from my crew. Just so you know that I haven’t lost myself in an orgy of community-based living.

I got a ride down to Williamstown, Little Exuma with Patsy Dorsett (one of 13 children, and the only one in her generation who currently lives on Little Exuma) and her nephew Andrew, who was willing to give me a tour of the place, right up a little hill to pick me a coco-plum and then down to a walk to the edge of a salt lake and I swear, when I looked down, it looked like there was SNOW on the ground. And then I realized it was HUGE salt crystals. I can’t seem to post video here, but I will put it up on my Facebook page — I’m guessing you are all FB friends of mine. We stopped for a beer at Santana’s (which is right near where the Pirates of the Carib I & II)

Have met some really  sweet and interesting folks, and had many, many conversations. By evening on any given day, I’ll have  spoken French, Spanish and Hebrew (and German if I meet folks in town). Today, I  listened intently to Bahamians talking to each other and to me. I talked to the cook at the Two Turtles — she told me so many foods that she likes to eat, and had a lot to say about a lot about of foods and I heard how she loves sparkling water, and has yet to eat tofu! It’s a lovely, lilting patois that they speak, and I pick it up pretty easily…

This afternoon, I announced that I would be honorary “Dorsett” family, and the three cousins sitting near me laughed. It’s so easy here to just be. Maybe I’m finally getting comfortable in my own skin. I have accepted an offer for another day of touring around, and will be away from the boat til at least dinner time.

My crew came back in to the bar last night (already feeling no pain) for Karaoke and dirty dancing! They have a lot of fun, and liven up the bar. But the best part is how the night ends: Bodyshots!!!

Except for my recent experiences at Thirst & Vine (wine bar and restaurant) in Shorewood, I haven’t hung out at one single place like this since I lived in Chicago! Today, the German couple are here — yesterday, I met a family from Ontario and played cards with their kids. Every night, my crew seems to come here to drink (and on Tuesdays, we sing Karaoke!) On Friday nights, we dance. I’ve really gotten into dancing again, it’s my stress relief after standing in the kitchen and cooking for two hours, hoping and worrying that everything will taste good and be hot at the same time!

Yesterday, I spent most of my time alone singing and playing my uke. When I got back on the boat last night, I headed to the bow deck and watched the clouds and stars and just sang from my heart…it was one of those moments where I sort of wished I had a tape player or video, but I was also so in the moment, that it would have distracted me. I have to trust that those utterances from my soul will come back to me when I need to record them. Another day in paradise is hook for a new song — can’t wait to work on it some more! When I get back to Milwaukee, I need to pick up the pieces of the recording project I started in December. I have the music for 7 songs already done, but need to do vocals. Need to finish writing a few more…

We ran out and went to see them…wait, wait, wait…they breached! We saw four of them, gracefully swimming in pairs about 20 yards off the starboard side and then aft deck…so beautiful!

I thought that my job would end this week, but the family decided to come back after their upcoming trip to Miami for the baby-naming/brit milah of their new grandson. Now, I’ll be here until it’s time to celebrate with Pops for his 80th birthday in Milwaukee. Maybe we’ll leave this harbor, but I have no control over that!

My job as cook will come to an end on Monday night when the chef returns — and then I get a couple of real days off again. I’ve met some lovely local folks, and hope to spend a day exploring and seeing the rest of Great Exuma island.

I’m working on new songs, and still trying to write everyday in hopes that something resembling a book is the final product at the end of this trip! It’s an amazing gift to have so much time to think…it’s like a sabbatical from my life. I highly recommend it!

The giant sea-star (starfish) that my student DID catch 2 weeks ago

I find that as I spend time doing this job, I realize what my student really needs: to be seen as someone who has already had many experiences and seen many things, but can always learn more. I’ve had a chance to practice “plus-1″ learning — seeing what she knows and stretching her to the next point.

Yesterday, my friend Kevin, the deckhand, (in a boundary-crossing move) helped me teach her about undersea life, eco-systems, coral and sponges and rays and nudi branch and some sea-loving wisdom. He’s an awesome photographer, and had shared some of his pics with me one night, so I asked if he could teach the little girl. The mom said yes, but believe me, the dad wasn’t happy. One of the lessons on a boat is to keep the owner happy. However, I think studying marine biology is really relevant when you’re living on a boat!

More crew changes this week — the chef is in Mexico for about two weeks (we hope) and the captain’s wife came to cook for us, but keeps saying how she wants to go home. The new nanny (who used to work for the family in New York) has come aboard, and the masseuse has left the boat for an adventure on a sailing ship heading to Puerto Rico and then Antigua.

We’re due to leave our little home away from home in the harbor of George Town, Great Exuma Island. I finally got to the “big sea star” beach, and was snorkeling with my student to see them in their natural habitat. She, of course, wanted to take one. I was grateful that we couldn’t dive down to get it!

I’m happy, really tan and loving life! Can’t really ask for anything more!

I’ve become the unofficial masseuse for the crew — my roommate is the masseuse for the owners. This results in very funny jockeying for position in line to get shoulders and necks worked on. My workspace is the crew mess (see video) which has a mural of Portofino, Italy painted on the back wall, making my wanderlust even worse! The girls are encouraging me to get my massage therapy license so I can continue working on yachts…not a bad idea! The new deckhand, Kevin, spent six months on a Princess Cruise line ship as the photographer, so most of my photos are from him. He just has a knack for being in the right place with a camera!

I’ve enjoyed my 5-day break, but I’m looking forward to working, too. The family returns this afternoon, and I have just received a shipment of books for my student to read. The list I compiled was big, but this was ridiculous, because someone in NY bought all the box sets of books, so I think there are an extra 100 books on board and I have to find places to stash them! I so want to turn this child into a reader…maybe this will do the trick. I think we’ll start with Magic Tree House and get into a series…

Thanks to Google, I’ve been able to call home for free — the phone app on the gmail works beautifully. And for those who wonder, I’ve regained my summer tan (and then some), yet I am pretty good about having sunscreen on.

I still get up everyday, and am filled with wonder and gratitude for the happy circumstance that brought me here. More to come…

Meanwhile, the chef had decided that no, I couldn’t go in his kitchen to prepare challah because Monsieur doesn’t like it when anyone but he is in the kitchen. However, after Mme. and the little girl asked about the challah, I was able to negotiate approval to make it. For anyone who knows and remembers my mostly whole-wheat challah, it smelled just right! In an unusual move, Mme invited me upstairs to help them make Shabbat — she lit candles, I chanted Kiddush (over freshly pressed grape juice!) and we blessed the children and the challot, sang some Shabbat songs. It was perfect! And it tasted like home…

I came downstairs to find that my mates on the crew had demolished one entire challah — fortunately, I had made 2 for us as well. The chef tasted and said it was good (and then told me he would NEVER praise something if it wasn’t really good), which made me proud. I even learned a few things from him about bread, to leave it on the tray longer to keep the moisture in unless it’s a baguette. For his part, he leanred that someone can bake good bread without measuring!

The drama this week centered around the broken port engine (which now seems to be repaired), and the drunken nanny who was fired and caused all sorts of trouble for the Captain as she went on a bender once in town…

One deckhand left, and another arrived. And so it goes! Shabbat shalom to all!